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Stun Gun Dad

My only sibling lied to my aged mother, whom I take care of, because of greed. Should I disown him?

My dad died in November of Lung Cancer. It was a horrifying and life-changing experience. For seven years I was by my mom and dads side constantly. My brother came to see my dad three times in three months of hospitalization. I have asked him to help me take care of mom, but he won't. He didn't even call her once in the three months after my dad died.
My brother is very cold and unemotional. He divorced his wife of 8 years, right after my dad died, as he was having an affair with a woman that none of our family can stand. He ignores his children, when he isn't yelling at them. My mom told him she would disinherit him if he married that other woman
My dad wanted my brother to have all his guns and tools. Mom ended up giving me my dads truck, she said to make up for the guns and tools. I was stunned! I have never had a really nice vehicle. My brother found out and threw a fit. He lied to my mother and told her I wanted to institutionalize her. I'm so hurt!
She actually believes him.

Your family looks like an epsode of a television drama.

Your brother doesn't come to see mom probably because he's "scared" of the illness, and also selfish. From where i sit, everything seems to be all about HIM.

I think that, at this time in your life, perhaps enjoy the time you have left with Mom. Worry about your own STUFF and let whatever your brother says and does roll right off your back. You are letting him get to you just because he is demanding and mean. It's the way he is, always was, and maybe it's time to just accept it.

Meanwhile, your emotions and feelings belong to YOU. don't let your brother run your emotions from a distance... run them yourself. YOUR life is more important than worrying about his.

I have a very greedy sister, as well. I took care of our mother for over a year before she died. My sister took everything. I had a choice -- make myself sick worrying about HER, or go on with my own life.

I decided it was easier to go on with my own life.

by the way, your brother can't just up and decide your mother needs "institutionalized".. that is for a doctor to decide. And if you are taking care of her basic needs, and she is SAFE in her environment, then she is just fine where she is.

take care and sending hugs to you and Mom.

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